HOME

BOTTLE STOPPERS CONTACT FIGURES FUNNY MONEY BANKS YARD SALE

 

 

..........There's a land that is fairer than day...And by faith we can see it afar...For the Father waits over the way...To prepare us a dwelling place there....IN THE SWEET BYE AND BYE...WE SHALL MEET ON THAT BEAUTIFUL SHORE...IN THE SWEET BYE AND BYE...WE SHALL MEET ON THAT BEAUTIFUL SHORE...We shall sing on that beautiful shore...The melodious songs of the blest...And our spirits shall sorrow no more...Not a sigh for the blessings of rest..IN THE SWEET BYE AND BYE...WE SHALL MEET ON THAT BEAUTIFUL SHORE...IN THE SWEET BYE AND BYE...WE SHALL MEET ON THAT BEAUTIFUL SHORE.............To our bountiful Father above...We will offer our tribute of praise...For the glorious gift of his love...And the blessings that hallow our day....IN THE SWEET BYE AND BYE...WE SHALL MEET ON THAT BEAUTIFUL SHORE...IN THE SWEET BYE AND BYE...WE SHALL MEET ON THAT BEAUTIFUL SHORE

 

SPIT 'N' WHITTLE
bottle STOPPERS

         

SPIT 'N' WHITTLE 
BOTTLE STOPPERS

loop leg luther

Luther's got a knack for avoiding hard labor of any kind.  In fact the boys at the bunkhouse nicknamed him "The Solar-Powered Cowboy"  'cause every time he finds a shady spot he quits workin'.

SB&-S02

LOOP LEG LUTHER HAS LEFT THE
BUILDING

hooch gibson

Hooch Gibson is the kind of fella that must've been born on horseback. Claims he can ride anything with four legs and hair on it. His favorite sayin' is "If the job can't be done on horseback, it just ain't worth doin'!"

SB&B-S04

HOOCH GIBSON
HAS LEFT THE
BUILDING

 

Straight Shot Stoney 

Ol' Stoney was born about the time "the Grand Canyon weren't nothin' but a gulley." His favorite sayin' is "I may be over the hill, but it's a helluva lot better than bein' under it."

SB&B-S05

STRAIGHT SHOT STONEY
HAS LEFT THE
BUILDING

Firewater Willy

Ol' Willy runs a place out in Arizona that sells handmade indin gifts. Calls it a "Souix-Ve-neer Shop". Says he used to be a great chief, "Till th' tribe caught him makin' home brew corn whiskey in the ceremonial tom-tom.

SB&B-S06

FIREWATER WILLY
HAS LEFT THE
BUILDING

Tequila Joe

Joe likes to brag that he was raised on nothin' but "Texas Red & Cactus Juice". (chili & tequila).  But Joe is quick to tell you that th' only reason he drinks tequila is "to save that poor leetle worm from drownin'."

SB&B-S08

25.00
3.00

levi druelslinger

Levi's a "real" cowboy.  He's got a black hat, a big ol' wad of Redman, and he's always broke. Bein' broke ain't nothin' new to Levi. As a kid his family was so poor all he had was a tumbleweed for a pet...

SB&B-S13

25.00
3.00

hoolihan hank

Hank is a diagnosed team roper.  Lots of folks get this very serious disease and are unaware of it.  Here's a few of the symptoms:  *Wearing T-shirts that say "Will Rope for Food".  *Having more missing fingers than the guy that feeds the sharks at Sea World.  *Driving a brand new $35,000 ¾-ton diesel crew cab dually pickup with matching four horse slant trailer, and borrowing money for gas.

SB&B-S20

HOOLIHAN HANK
HAS LEFT THE BUILDING

squatting bear

It's and old Indian tradition that when a baby is born the mother looks out the teepee and names her baby after the first thing she sees. Unfortunately this little Indian was born in bear country, just as the huckleberries ripened and, well, you figure it out. If you don't believe this story is true, just ask his twin brother Dribbling Moose.

SB&B-S21

25.00
3.00

 

anita mann

Anita is a buckle-bunny. She's got cupid's cramps and is lookin' to put her brand on a cowboy. Sez, she always wears a hat just in case she finds a cowboy willin' to get married at the drop of one!

SB&B-S22

25.00
3.00

cow camp kate

Kate is a top hand.  She can out ride, out rope, and out shoot any cowboy around.  When asked whether women make better cowboys than men she replied, "All I know is roosters crow and hens deliver."

SB&B-S23

25.00
3.00

rowdy barr

Rowdy was born a fighter.  His daddy was an old Indian fighter and his mama was an old Indian. Unfortunately he rarely comes out on top.  In fact, he's lost so many fights his friends nicknamed him "Miracle Whip" cuz it would be a miracle if he whipped anybody.

SB&B-S24

25.00
3.00

slim chance

Like all real cowboys most of the time, Slim's broke.  He says it's easy to tell how much money he has in the bank.  All he has to do is pick it up and shake it.  When asked what he'd do if he won a million dollars, he replied, "I guess I'd just keep bein' a cowboy 'til it was all gone."

SB&B-S25

SLIM CHANCE
HAS LEFT THE BUILDING

curly clark

Curly says “I don’t have a receding hairline, I’ve got an advancing forehead”.  The truth is that Curly is bald.  So bald in fact, his friends say that every time he takes a shower he gets brainwashed.

SB&B-S26

CURLY CLARK
HAS LEFT THE
BUILDING

 

rattlesnake jake

This South Dakota cowboy is so tough, he shaves his face with a broken beer bottle, combs his hair with a porcupine, flosses his teeth with barbed wire, and uses a cactus for toilet paper!

SB&B-S27

RATTLESNAKE JAKE
HAS LEFT THE
BUILDING

whiskey rivers

Whiskey always says "If somethin's worth doin', it's worth doin' right.  So if your gonna lay around and drink whiskey all day, you gotta start early in the morning!"

SB&B-S28

25.00
3.00

one eyed jack

Jack is a professional poker player and a compulsive gambler - he even went to gamblers anonymous once to try and quit...they gave him 10 to 1 odds he would never make it.  

SB&B-S29

25.00
3.00

 

chopper

Chopper was born to ride a hog.  Even as a baby, all he wore were black diapers with 'Wild Thing' written across the backside.  Chopper says being a biker ain't what it used to be.  Nowadays, instead of hanging out with Hells Angels drinking beer out of a rusty cylinder head, it's doctors and lawyers sipping martinis, with tattoos on their arms like 'Born to Be Upwardly Mobile' or 'Make Investments in High Interest Bearing Mutual Funds, Not War.'  

SB&B-E01

25.00
3.00

homer

Homer used to play ball with an obscure minor league team, the Wala-Wala Warthogs.  His love of hot dogs earned him his own BBQ grill in the dugout, and the nickname 'Sultan of Suet'.  Now he coaches Little League and plays slow-pitch softball.  The closest he gets to a grand slam now is breakfast at Denny's.  

SB&B-E02

25.00
3.00

jim shorts

Jim wasn't exactly born to play basketball.  In fact, he committed his first double dribble at the age of two while attempting to eat peas and carrots simultaneously.  Since he's both vertically and ethnically challenged, the closest this guy will every get to a jam is on a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  

SB&B-E03

25.00
3.00

mad dog gruntfartski

Mad Dog is one truly offensive football player.  In fact, he's the only player to receive a personal foul for bad breath.  He says his mama taught him three things about playing football:  1.  When you eat a defensive lineman always spit out the helmet.  2.  Face masks are for sissies.  3.  Never swear at a referee; making fun of the hair on his mother's back is far more effective.  

SB&B-EO4

25.00
3.00

moose slapshotzsky

Moose is one heck'uva hockey player but not exactly the brightest crayon in the box.  When he first joined the team his coach had to remind him to put on clean socks everyday - after a week his skates didn't fit.  

SB&B-E11

25.00
3.00

buzzard

No Tag

SB&B-C03

25.00
3.00

boozin' beary

DINGLE BEARIES
Boozin Beary by Rich Weatherbee

SB&B-D01

25.00
3.00

bear footin'

DINGLE BEARIES
Bear Footin by Rich Weatherbee

SB&B-D02

25.00
3.00

 

ace

This kind of sleaze-ball is definitely not to be trusted on the golf course.  You should never bet against a guy with a dark tan, beady eyes, and the best wood in their bag is their pencil.  Ace has been known on occasion to yell four, shoot six, and write down five.

SB&B-G01

25.00

ace
(FULL FIGURE)

This kind of sleaze-ball is definitely not to be trusted on the golf course.  You should never bet against a guy with a dark tan, beady eyes, and the best wood in their bag is their pencil.  Ace has been known on occasion to yell four, shoot six, and write down five.

SB&B-G01F

25.00
3.00


duffer

This old duffer is determined to become an "Age Player".  That is an accomplished golfer whose score in a round of golf is equal to his own age, or a golfer who is able to shoot a complete round while acting his age.  If this old coot can hang on for another fifty years he might just make it.

SB&B-G02

25.00

duffer
(fULL fIGURE)

This old duffer is determined to become an "Age Player".  That is an accomplished golfer whose score in a round of golf is equal to his own age, or a golfer who is able to shoot a complete round while acting his age.  If this old coot can hang on for another fifty years he might just make it.

SB&B-G02F

25.00
3.00

phil fairway

Nothing stops this guy from playing golf.  Set fire to the trees and cover the greens with broken glass, put Phil out there in gasoline-soaked pants, barefoot, and he'd still break par.

SB&B-G03F

25.00
3.00

four putt frank

Frank's three secrets of golf: "Never let anyone see you cry when you line up your fourth putt." 
"When you throw your clubs always throw them down the course.  It saves time going back to pick them up."  "Never hit your caddie with a putter, a sand wedge is far more effective."

SB&B-G04F


25.00

n. d. ruff

N. D. isn't a bad golfer, actually he hits the woods pretty well.  He just has one hell'uva hard time gettin' out of them.  When he asked a local golf pro for a tip to improve his game the pro said, "If I played like you I'd lay off three weeks, then quit for good."

SB&B-G05F

25.00
3.00

sandy trapp

This sexy shotmaker might have inspired the old saying, "Give me clubs, fresh air and a beautiful golf partner, and you can keep the clubs and fresh air."

SB&B-G06F

25.00
3.00

 

willy one-shot

Willy is a very consistent golfer.  He always shoots in the low 80's.  Willy likes to spend most of his time at the 19th hole because he says, "It's the only hole where it doesn't matter how many shots I take."

SB&B-G07F

25.00
3.00

stumPy

Stumpy comes from a tough pirate family.  So tough that anyone with both ears is considered a sissy.  In fact, Stumpy is so mean Dial-a-Prayer told him to go to Hell.  

SB&B-N07

25.00
3.00

poop deck

Poopdeck's only true love is the sea.  Says he likes women in his arms not on his hands.  He brags that "no woman has been able to pin anything on him since he wore diapers."

SB&B-N09

25.00
3.00

LAPTOP SANTA

Computers have finally reached the North Pole.  Nowadays Santa keeps his naughty and nice list on his laptop, although it does have occasional glitches.  Last year every politician, lawyer, and IRS agent living in the USA received nothing but coal in their stockings.  Santa has fixed the problem and this year these same people will receive coal no matter where they live.  

SB&B-CH07

25.00

dr. von yankenpull

The dentist's patients think he's part magician because he can pull the teeth out of your head and the money out of your pocket at the same time.  When he says "Open wide" they're never sure whether he means their mouth or their wallet.

SB&B-0C01

25.00
3.00

mrs. grumblebutt

Mrs. Grumblebutt is probably the toughest teacher in the world.  One former student of hers said that being in her class is a lot like having a kidney stone:  they are both very painful and difficult to pass.

SB&B-OC02

25.00
3.00

loop hole louie

Loop Hole Louie is a junior partner in the law firm of Dewey, Skrewem & Howe.  Louie was born to argue.  In fact, when he was only two days old he won his very first debate convincing his own mother not to have him circumcised.

SB&B-OC04

25.00
3.00

sparky

Sparky is so slow he's been a firefighter for 25 years and only has 18 years of experience.  He recently asked for a raise, and the chief promised to pay him what he's worth.  Sparky replied, "Hell, I'm making more than that now!"

SB&B-OC06

25.00
3.00

sparky (Mini)

Sparky is so slow he's been a firefighter for 25 years and only has 18 years of experience.  He recently asked for a raise, and the chief promised to pay him what he's worth.  Sparky replied, "Hell, I'm making more than that now!"

SB&B-OC06-MINI

25.00
3.00

sergeant mcdunkin

Sgt. McDunkin is not exactly Dirty Harry.  He's the only cop on the force with "Have a Nice Day" written on his nightstick.  His favorite saying is:  "I'll take a bite out of crime anytime - as long as it's covered with powdered sugar."

SB&B-0C07

SERGEANT MCDUNKIN
HAS LEFT THE BUILDING

jack hammer

Jack is a lot like the Liberty Bell.  He's loud, wide at the bottom, and he always show a little crack.  

SB&B-OC09

25.00
3.00

penicillin pete

Pete is half pharmacist, half herbalist, and half zulu witch doctor.  He has a home remedy for everything including the world's only sure fire cure for baldness.  Two shots of tequila, a tablespoon of gopher sweat, and a pinch of powdered gnat testicles, taken three times daily.  It won't grow hair, but after a couple of treatments you won't care anymore.  

SB&B-OC11

PENICILLIN PETE
HAS LEFT THE BUILDING

beaufont betty

Betty is the town's biggest gossip.  Some folks think she's really a reporter for the National Enquirer.  Betty swears she would never tell a lie but she's very careful never to let the truth stand in the way of a good story.  which proves you can't believe everything you hear, but you can repeat it.  

SB&B-OC15

25.00
3.00

wendell lickenstamp

Wendell is the world's grumpiest postman.  He's got sore feet, a slipped disk, bad breath and has been attacked by more wild animals than Marlin Perkins.  He also belongs to the postmen's 4H Club:  hernia, hypertension, heartburn and hemorrhoids.  

SB&B-X01

25.00

sue moore

Sue is a brilliant attorney.  So brilliant, in fact,  she didn't graduate from law school.  She settled out of class.

SB&B-0C17

25.00
3.00

vino stompoli

Vino is a master vintner and incurable oenophile.  His favorite saying is "Whether made from a grape apple or pickle, I love um all, from Merlot to Ripple."  (oenophile [e'ne fil'] a person who enjoys wines)

SB&B-OC19

VINO STOMPOLI
HAS LEFT THE BUILDING

lugnut

How many mechanics does it take to change a light bulb?  It takes five, one to figure out what's wrong, three to get parts, and one to try and hammer it in. 

SB&B-OC20

25.00
3.00

 

flossy

Flossy is the world's fastest hygienist.  Instead of cleaning your teeth she just brushes the tartar under your gums and squirts air freshener on your uvula. 

SB&B-OC22

25.00
3.00

dr. bittenskratch

It's hard being a veterinarian.  You have to treat everything from flatulent hamsters and constipated goldfish to Clydesdales with diarrhea.  This vet's credo is simply:  Cure all you can, bury the rest, and never, ever try to take the temperature of a pit bull with hemorrhoids!

SB&B-0C25

DR. BITTENSCRATCH HAS LEFT THE BUILDING

dr. kerra lott
(Figure)

Kera is a super doctor!  She's faster than a racing pulse, able to leap high blood pressure in a single bound.  She knows that diapodigaglobulis is Latin for toe jam, and can cure walking pneumonia in less that a mile!  

SB&B-X01

25.00

phil glass

A well traveled business man told Phil on the way out of the restaurant, the Veal Parmesan was better than what he had eaten in Milan the week before.  He asked Phil what their secret was.  Phil said, "We import our cheese, they use domestic!"

SB&B-OC29

25.00
3.00

 

al mamater

Al believes going to college is the best days of your life.  When else are your parents going to spend thousands of dollars a year for you to go to a strange town and get drunk every night.

SB&B-OC31

25.00
3.00

daddy warbucks

Daddy Warbucks Motto:  Money won't buy you happiness, it won't buy you love, it won't buy you health, but if you have enough of it, you can rent them all. 

SB&B-OC32

25.00
3.00

vinny vyagra

Vinnie may be eighty but every morning he wakes up he feels like a twenty year old.  Only problem is there is never one around.

SB&B-0C34

25.00
3.00

black jack

Black Jack really hit it big in Las Vegas.  He drove there in a $20,000 car and came home "on" a $50,000 bus!

SB&B-OC35

BLACK JACK
 HAS LEFT THE BUILDING

fishtale frank

Frank is a real outdoorsman.  He loves to hunt and fish.  He says the biggest difference between hunting and fishing is that when you're hunting you lie and wait.  When you fish, you wait and lie.  

SB&B-SP07

25.00
3.00

shanghai

PRISON/WORK
In prison you are allowed regular conjugal visits from your spouse.  If you have a conjugal visit from your spouse while at work you will be fired. 
 

SB&B-X01

25.00

buster

PRISON/WORK
In prison you spend most of your time looking through bars wanting to get out.  At work you spend most of your time wanting to get out and into bars.

SB&B-X02

25.00


al bore
holder

This Bottle Stopper Holder is the perfect companion for all your Spit'N' Whittle Bptt;e Stp[[ers!

SB&B-H01

10.00
2.00

saddle barrel
holder

This Bottle Stopper Holder is the perfect companion for all your Spit'N' Whittle Bottle Stoppers!

SB&B-H02

10.00
2.00

bandana bob shirt holder

This Bottle Stopper Holder is the perfect companion for all your Spit'N' Whittle Bottle Stoppers!

SB&B-H03

10.00
5.00

bottle stopper stand

This wooden stand holds 15 of your favorite Spit N' Whittle Bottle Stoppers.  Includes two rings (not shown) which hold bottles of your favorite wine

DIMENSIONS:  4 3/4" H x 11 3/4 W x 12 3/4" L

NOTE:  Bottle Stoppers Not Included

SB&B-STAND

25.00

         


   

DON'T HAVE A PAYPAL ACCOUNT? 

No problem.  If you would prefer using your Credit Card to pay for your purchases, here's how:

Make your selection.

Click on the ADD TO CART button.  This will take you to YOUR SHOPPING CART page.  Here you can choose to either CONTINUE SHOPPING or to CHECKOUT.

If you're ready to check out and want to pay with your Credit Card, click on the CHECKOUT button.

This will take you to the CHOOSE A WAY TO PAY page.  On the right-hand side of the page, click on PAY WITH A DEBIT OR CREDIT CARD, OR BILL ME LATER. This will take you to the page with the form where you can fill in your Credit Card information. 

Enter your Credit Card information then click on  REVIEW AND CONTINUE.  

Review your payment and order description.  If everything is OK, then click on  PAY NOW.  

You can then print out your transaction or return to Sweet Bye and Bye for more shopping.  An email with your order summary will be sent to your provided email address.  

We hope this helps makes your shopping experience more enjoyable.

         

 


         

 

 

    

Sweet Bye and Bye

28417 Quadrille Lane
Fair Oaks Ranch, TX  78015
817-300-0320

   

copyright © 2017 -  Site Constructed by SWEET BYE AND BYE - All Rights Reserved

 

 

HOME

BOTTLE STOPPERS CONTACT FIGURES FUNNY MONEY BANKS YARD SALE